becoming a regular...

Have you let yourself become a regular anywhere?

Often, visiting places, stores, coffee shops, parks, restaurants, etc., can be baby steps towards building community and being known.  Perhaps not on deep deep levels, but it offers something interesting when thought of in self-care-terms.

If you are are already a regular somewhere, take a moment to think about what that space, what those people, what that ritual offers you. 

If you either haven't let yourself become a regular somewhere, or haven't ever thought of the potential value, let me offer some of what I have learned in my process of showing up at a local coffee shop Street Bean quasi-consistently...

(image courtesy of google maps)

• I get to have a "third place" of my choosing outside of my home or work where I can write and rest and be. (watch out (pun intended) starmoney keeps their third places/coffee shops clock free - which speaks to the way time can go by in an interesting way in third places)
• I am letting myself be known on some levels by those I might not get to talk with otherwise
• I am opening my eyes to a new community of people who are all drawn to the same sort of space for any number of reasons (beauty, the ways the space aligns with personal values, location....)
• I am allowing myself to intentionally be a part of a community, investing money in those who work there, those who choose to spend time there, and in the neighborhood the place is in (how do you support your own neighborhood?)

When I asked a friend recently how our friend's baby boy was warming up to her, she answered, "Slowly but surely, which is fine by me, because that is a great way to form a healthy relationship."  Becoming a regular can be a practice of incrementally letting yourself be accepted and known by others and vice-versa!

Planning for Self Care

All too often we can schedule our lives full with people, places and things to attend to.  Taking care of many of these nouns are part of the general way that we keep track and take care of ourselves. 

Responsibly scheduling those doctor and dentist appointments even though we might not want to is difficult.  On the other hand, sometimes, it is easier to take care of meetings and oil changes than emotional tune up's and winding down's.

When it comes to taking care of our emotional health it may seem overwhelming because it asks us to become more aware of a whole other world of things that are asking for our attention, care and consideration outside of all of the other logistics of life.

That is some of why I have created the following self care plan.  The plan creates a framework of questions and process of options that lead to greater self awareness and challenges the maker to more consistently gaze upon their unique emotional landscape. 

It begins by acknowledging the places in ourselves that we try and stay as far away from as possible (our unbearable feelings), and then brings in the circumstances where those feelings most often come up (red flags).  From there, you are lead to contemplate the ways your self responds in difficult situations emotionally (those difficult feelings that are more often felt than your unbearable feelings), physically (what clues your body is sending you) and mentally (self talk/attitudes).  Finally it offers options for how to handle those tense, loaded or painful situations in different ways that include you taking on the essential responsibility of taking care of yourself.

So, check out these pages, and see if something of them may be helpful for you along your journey of taking care of yourself more deeply, creatively and fully.

finding beauty, noticing self

Where is is that you notice your self getting lit up by beauty?

Browsing through design books?  Going on a hike?  Sitting on your deck, porch, front stoop? Playing with your cat?  Looking at a Rothko painting?  Wearing your favorite shade of yellow?  Getting to the edge of some body of water?  Smelling the desert after the rain?

Beauty is an essential part of living and activates us to parts of ourselves not otherwise awakened.

Let yourself find it today, keeping track of where you notice your heart beat quicken, skip a beat or  grow quiet in the presence of beauty:  simple, big, small, smelly and all things otherwise.

exercise those demons (and the rest of the gang)

How often movement is shied away from, limited, procrastinated and forgotten when we think of taking care of the varied parts of our selves.

We all have a history with movement- the felt ebbs of our emotions, the flows of our steps within our daily schedules, 7th grade gym class, the parts of us that are frozen or have been told not to wiggle, jiggle or dance, or the places that we know in ourselves that are perpetually agitated.

This is not as much a place for me to back up my urgings and options of self care with research, as much as taking the things that I see in my own world, and wonder about that of others.

It is common knowledge that the benefits of exercise are many... and we all know that we were built to move in whatever ways our bodies will afford us from the muscles it takes to smile and frown, to the capacity to climb whatever different types of mountains we have before us. 

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anonymous biking silhouette on alki, seattle wa.

What types of movement have you been putting off, not letting yourself try or be consistent with?

What have you always been curious about - running?  acrobatics?  dance?  how it is that people balance on those recumbent bikes?! Even laughter is exercise (ah-hem: might I offer, 4 cc's of Despicable Me- stat!).  Whatever you are abled, let the able in you, do you justice...

Cheers and here's to our bodies.  The only ones we have. 

As we continue to discover what it is our whole person needs, attending to the physicality that we are met with in our reflections every morning, noon and night.