Tips on Finding a Therapist

Finding a new therapist can be a daunting task.  That is why I put together some of my thoughts on what might be of help as you search for a therapist. 

• Ask others you know and trust who their therapists are, what they like about them, and if they have any recommendations for someone who may be a good fit for you.

  • Keep in mind that not every pair is a good match.  Your experience with a therapist may be totally different than that of the person who recommended them to you.

• Search online, type in keywords that are important to you and your story.

  • Some therapists will not work with certain disorders or experiences.

  • Take note of the way that they describe their therapeutic orientation.  What resonates with you and what falls flat?  Going with a therapist who you are drawn to is important- trust your gut.

  • Psychology Today is an excellent source for finding therapists as it has a fantastic filtering option that really helps to narrow down the options that will work with your needs and preferences. 

• Ask questions of your therapist before you get into the first session.

  • Give them a call or email them.  This is mutually beneficial because it allows for you and your therapist to get a better feel for whether it could be a constructive pairing.

  • Consider asking questions about:

    • education/therapeutic orientation

    • why they went into therapy

    • how their pricing system works

    • what their cancellation policy is

    • how they take payment

    • who they usually work with

    • what a typical introductory session looks like

    • if their schedule works with yours

• Note how you feel as you are reading their response, or talking with them on the phone; do you feel comfortable? rushed? confused?  These are all good indicators of what might be a part of your dynamic in the sessions to follow.

• Ask yourself: what is it that you find valuable in the person or people that you feel understood by?  What are some of their qualities? Do you see those same qualities in the therapist with whom you are meeting?

Listen to yourself and trust your experience.

Notice if you are sensing that there is something “off,” confusing about your sessions, or that the messages that you are receiving in your sessions don’t sit well with you.  Perhaps consider discussing your observations/feelings with your therapist.  Your discomfort could be a sign that it is not a helpful match and that you may want to seek another therapist who you may feel more comfortable with.

"What will the first session be like?"

If you are curious about what a first session will hold, usually it includes filling out paperwork, either in person in the waiting area before your session, or online before you meet.  I encourage you to refrain from filling out or signing anything you don't understand, or don't feel comfortable with.  Just leave the fields blank and talk about it in person.  After discussing the paperwork, each therapist will structure the first session differently, depending on their style, priorities etc. 

If you are anxious or weary of how the first session will go, feel free to ask the therapist you are trying out ahead of time how they usually structure it so that you have a sense of what you are walking into.

As a general rule, I usually say the first time doing anything is hard, so remember to be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you either start therapy for the first time, or are starting with a new therapist.  It is a vulnerable, brave, and self-honoring work for you to be even considering therapy, much less starting and committing to the process.